My mother died when I was ten.
I have very few photos of her left.
Why is it important to exist in photos?
I will never have a portrait of me and my mother on my wedding day or even a snapshot of her as a new grandmother. I will never see her glance at me with love or pride or amusement or exasperation. Those photos, snapshots, portraits, just don't exist.
For a long time I have struggled with body image issues, disorganized eating, obsessive workouts and loads of self hatred. I hate my hair, my skin, my eyes, my mommy tummy-you name it and I can name a negative thought about it. Having a daughter, I try incredibly hard to not pass it along to her and to have open dialogue about society norms and expectations. What is real and what isn't especially in the photography world. I have let her watch as I edit a photo of her and take it too far to show her that her natural beauty is stunning. So if she asks to take a picture of me-I try to always say yes. Even when its a bad angle, bad lighting, I look like a swamp rat.
The world is different now in terms of pictures since we all have cell phones to snap a pic at any given moment. Our kids will always have cell phone snaps of us which is a blessing-even if they are horrible. They won't forget our faces.
But how many will they have of them WITH you?
Take the picture. Tomorrow isn't always promised.
Some day all they will have left to hold onto are the photos, snapshots, portraits we leave behind. Exist in them. It isn't just for you.
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